Theory Of Me

Rest assured

I will float away

Expand into the dimensions

In unison we will divide

Render me null

The craters I’ve left behind

Will cave in 

Swallow what’s left

This disintegration

Makes me whole again

What’s left of me

Is what I could never be

This mortification

The edge of the big bang

Is where I belong

Unborn and born

Search all you can
I'm lost to everywhere
Like uprooted memories
What you always knew
Is what you'll never find

Her mortal

I can feel it lurking 

Hands waiting to grab me 

They say I’m paranoid 

But they know it exists

Too scared to heed 

Every time I hold her 

I say a silent prayer 

Let them be the shields

But how does it help 

When what lurks is within 

It’s gonna come for us all

Just like how it got him 

Wailing crawling bleeding 

Receding to the bones

A hug, a kiss and then gone 

Let us be, let me be 

Leave us to wind down 

The only way we can 

The vices are here to stay

But then who does not 

She looks right in me 

And holds my hand 

She beams up a smile

And brings me back 

Now I’m here, I’m here

Gotta be me

There’s nobody here 

Just old twisted me
You can shred me bare
And I’ll still bring me

There’s nobody here
To canoodle me
Got my canine fangs
And it just needs you

There’s nobody here
Just broke old me
When it’s 2 cents down
Time to be all gone

It’s gotta be me
Who put me here
It’s gotta be me
To pull me out

It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me

And then he came
The hallelujah man
With his book and beads
To turn me a new man

I ran him down
Took his robes n cross

Then went to town 

Became a peachier man

Now everybody’s here

Holdin’ onto me 

They‘re swearing by 

Every word I speak 

It’s gotta be me
Who put me here
It’s gotta be me
To pull me out

It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me
It’s gotta be me 

Glitch

I’m livid 

Off the grid  

Squirting dead squids

Let’s tally and run

Step on mindfields 

Send me scattering 

Limbs and bones 

Minces of me 

To pollute your hormones 

Vectors and scalars 

In chronic grandeur 

Douse me with your filth 

I’m seeking none 

Want to be gone 

You hold on 

Multiply my sins

Feed me now 

So I can eat you whole 

And roam again 

So plentiful now 

Off the cuff

I’m vapid 

Here to once upon a time

Sitting here in this hot car
Getting baked to a fault
No good reason to step out
Onto this big spinning ball
To be taken along again
I’m so content in here
Confined to this space
‘Cause I know you’re not here
But could still be out there

If I set out to get to you
You’d be gone forever
To smother me with the spaces
You’ve left me to inherit
So I’ll just wait in here
My time machine to you
And dial down the years
It’s only a matter of time
Till I find you again

One breath at a time
Slipping through dimensions
Atoms and colliding gods
I’ll disintegrate and fade
To be whole with you
Lost to all that’s around 

Finding myself in you 

Our story’s yet to start 

Here to once upon a time 

Mayday

Seven years on
The day that started it all
The itch is yet to catch up
But here we are still ridin’ on

All these years being together
We’re so lost to each other
Standing fast as we fall apart

Treading days that’s worn us out

The token moments from back then
Of elbow spots and stolen kisses
Twilight buzz and wistful goodbyes
Romeo ‘n Juliet on nameless roads

The promises we made each other
To never outlive those timeless days
Here we are now spent ‘n forlorn
Can we set the clocks back again

That summer day at sundown
You walked in all checks n smiles
Amidst coffee, cakes ‘n shy white flakes
We willed each other to carry on

So let’s reset and start over
And pour into parts of us 

From all that’s yours ‘n mine 

Make each other whole again

In the name of...

Could it be you
Carrying a ticking bag
To go with the rest of you
Look what they’ve done
Coloured you like this
In the name of faith
And invisible wars
You’re the bearer
Of unseen guns
And unholy bombs
The more you hurt
There’s more of us
And less of you
‘Cause prejudice is prime
And you’re paying the price
All the shredded men
And torn up walls
Can never make you whole
There’s never enough hate
To blow us all off
So let’s put it all to rest
Wall up the jihadi man
And give him what’s due
To burn himself down
Be the martyr for us
You and me and an
Uncoloured world

'Me'rrors in scope

In the gaps that pause for thoughts
I slip my gears and accelerate
The shuffled tunes carry me on
Traffic lights, craters and converging rams
All these miles clocked
Just lead me back to where I start
Am I missing something here
Little black holes in this dimension
That can suck me so far away
To the madness I carry in my head
Multitudes of me
That crack and join
And color me with patterns
Just unhinge me there
To collide and morph
While I can still look in
And roll the pieces
One day at a time

Nomadic star

Lonely nomads of barren minds

So close but looking far away

What if I were to take your hand  

Just hold onto until you go 

There’s no comfort to seek but this 

No words to speak, no needs or deeds 

We’d depart and go our separate ways

Right now here there's no haste

Our worlds are so poles apart

And thoughts so lost to each other 

So let’s hang on till we can

You and me and the voids that be 

Make this moment our very own 

So we could just live it on 

Lonely planets of a fallen star

Gone too far like nomadic stars

Cause n effect

Hook line n swagger

She got me tethering
On the edge of her sway
She got me gasping
Breath she takes away

What would it take
To get away from here
And swim the shores
Of my crashing want
To peel away the layers
Then slither and burn

The hands are beasts
And the fuse is lit up
I’m all pops and cracks
Down mounds ‘n grooves
The endless landscape
Of no man’s land 

Take me in now

Got nowhere to go 

Let’s be one now

Undulate through time

Lock stock n smother 

Metronome 1

Ancient lady and the fish man

The drapes are standing 

Time to offer it up

And then she glides in

Stoic n claws drawn in

Blips and slides 

Let’s another one in

And the other leans on

Contemplating end games

Waiting for a better one

Maybe the next time 

Just two jerks away 

Let’s see what gets on 

Nothin, just empty space 

Loved time of the day

Glinting off the screen

Catches my eye 

It’s time to exit

Bait a smart ride 

Off to curly dreams

ROMA n tick

Embrace it all
Drown now back again
Cold clear stillness
Mad march outside
The way is back
But it’s onward now

End of the tunnel
Harsh light, steel fangs
Screams end none starts
Heart shock prods play
Blips breaths count down
Come n gone stillborn

Martial man long gone
Paternal plans undone
Troops n politick time
Fatherland motherland
Street-land paradigm 

Gun down nobody man

Marital man gone now

Shred metal driveway

Drunk Cadillac woes

Hacienda high eve notes  

Burn burn warm toast

Lullaby lit tree glow  

Puddles in mosaic land

Windows to sky high 

Drone bird fly by 

Suds chutes trickle drain

A wash in daily time 

Shit stains in ROMA

Close-her

These genial exchanges
How long has it been?
16 years and counting

I rode away that night
Knew it would all end some day
But not the way it did
Starin’ at a flashing tube
The words still tumble in me
“More than a friend”
How fuckin’ cliched can it be
Punchin’ the numbers
Counting the rings
Those endless waits
At the end of the line
All those epic mails
Amidst shackled ears
And desktop woes
Ones n zeros n broken hearts

Then the November day
When you got wed
I curled up on a cot
Manic man went berserk
Burn the house down

Do you still think
Of those shielded nights
Saccharine talks n mosquito bites
Fleeting touches n repellent fumes
Stories we wrote
On each other’s hands
Hugs n faint lip brushes
The day we kissed
Shudders from firework night
About a quiet little note
On how you bled
Laid out on a couch
When the lights went out
And you took me in
A first of many to come

The natural progression
Was it all a well laid plan
Or was it just about me n you
I’m still trying to find out
While you’re so lost to it all

The hushed up tangles
Behind painted car doors
On that fateful porch
Secret places and feelings
We just went on and on
Stains on stepped ground
Afternoons that throbbed
Ebbed and flowed, us in tow
With safe days counted out
Group studies and prayers
Chapters, pages and sex
Little worries and promises
Idols, pens and tests
The sweat didn’t bother
You were happy to hold on

That day still sees me
Knockin’ on doors
Calling out at windows
The lies that were within
Shown out with a grin

It’s all long gone now
Our days are lived
And new ones born
A snapshot here
And a quick word there
The facade’s held on
But not for long
‘Cause one cold night
The word comes out
An echo from back then
The door’s been open
For far too long
Pick up the pieces
Put it all to rest
Give it a name

...A closure song

Vignettes on rails

She’s got the socks on

I still contemplate 

Framed on a reflection 

Man to the left 

One to the right 

Drizzle pouring in

The frame’s a crowd now

A year gone down

Left a seed at my core

Split and multiply?

Stuck at a prayer 

She’s can’t know 

Or does she now?

One’s taken and

Another’s twitching

The arm’s taken me

And I’m lost to all 

To be let go again 

In days and trains 

And pints of pain

Shrieks, slides, exits