Close-her

These genial exchanges
How long has it been?
16 years and counting

I rode away that night
Knew it would all end some day
But not the way it did
Starin’ at a flashing tube
The words still tumble in me
“More than a friend”
How fuckin’ cliched can it be
Punchin’ the numbers
Counting the rings
Those endless waits
At the end of the line
All those epic mails
Amidst shackled ears
And desktop woes
Ones n zeros n broken hearts

Then the November day
When you got wed
I curled up on a cot
Manic man went berserk
Burn the house down

Do you still think
Of those shielded nights
Saccharine talks n mosquito bites
Fleeting touches n repellent fumes
Stories we wrote
On each other’s hands
Hugs n faint lip brushes
The day we kissed
Shudders from firework night
About a quiet little note
On how you bled
Laid out on a couch
When the lights went out
And you took me in
A first of many to come

The natural progression
Was it all a well laid plan
Or was it just about me n you
I’m still trying to find out
While you’re so lost to it all

The hushed up tangles
Behind painted car doors
On that fateful porch
Secret places and feelings
We just went on and on
Stains on stepped ground
Afternoons that throbbed
Ebbed and flowed, us in tow
With safe days counted out
Group studies and prayers
Chapters, pages and sex
Little worries and promises
Idols, pens and tests
The sweat didn’t bother
You were happy to hold on

That day still sees me
Knockin’ on doors
Calling out at windows
The lies that were within
Shown out with a grin

It’s all long gone now
Our days are lived
And new ones born
A snapshot here
And a quick word there
The facade’s held on
But not for long
‘Cause one cold night
The word comes out
An echo from back then
The door’s been open
For far too long
Pick up the pieces
Put it all to rest
Give it a name

...A closure song